The Victory Candle

Anyone who wants to be a superhero..... could just be a parent and meet the same demand and supply for extraordinary vision, strength and power. 

Do superheroes make mistakes? Parents sure do.
Parents are human. So are superheroes.
If there exists a parent who hasn't yelled when their child was already down, made a self-serving choice or been wrong, please get in touch. And if you have made it to their teen years without doing so, well, congratulations. If you're a guiltless parent of an adult, I'm officially skeptical of your honesty.

I can't name more than a handful of common superheroes. That phase never infiltrated my household. But I do have a lingering sense of two primary traits of superheroes - honesty and humility. As parents I think we have a great responsibility to tell the truth, including our own truths. That gets so hard when the cards are down. On a subconscious level, I think that's what I was after with the victory candle. Years and years ago I read an idea in a family magazine that adapted to my dinner table as The Victory Candle. The victory candle might be lit at dinner during the week and provide a doorway to reflecting on positivity and celebration. Taking turns to recount something that felt good or a challenge overcome in a formal setting was important for me to share with my girls. And it was honest. It measured our personal yard sticks of accomplishment - most often highlighting seemingly small things that most people would not see. Victories are things that others might not know to notice. Personal truths. Perspectives.

It can be so hard to admit when we are wrong. It's equally hard to admit when we are right with ourselves. That's humility, both ways. When things are both wrong and right, a lot of ugly can arise.
We grow when we own our ugly parts; I have many ugly parts. I have been in those dark places of exhaustion and frustration saying things I did but did not mean, and that is the humanity and humility in me. We live with our missteps, mothers, fathers and non-parents alike, always. We are superheroes

My super power is perspective. I fail every time to work with anyone who does not allow perspective. And it is the perspectives that walk into the light allowing for grief and anger their valued places in the human experience. It requires extraordinary vision, strength and power. It makes us superheroes.